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Comments:
<0> her journal is off limits, unless there is good cause.
<1> :/
<0> an then i will tell her..
<1> you gotta let a kid be a kid
<0> YOU GIVE ME YOUR JOURNAL NOW, AND WE WILL SIT DOWN TO READ IT.
<1> she _will_ **** up no matter how hard you tug her hand in one direction
<0> nah
<0> of course she does..
<0> but her f*ck up is forgetting about a paper
<0> or missing a mock trial to go to the coffee shop with her gf's
<1> so you shoul dgive her more freedom!
<1> she's earned it
<0> she has freedom.
<0> but she has real clear guidelines for behavior
<0> an i won't back down on that.
<1> i'm in her business... an she just has to deal with it. <-- i just think thats a bad attitude to approach parenting
<0> kids need that.
<0> no way
<1> but you've apparently raised her well
<0> more parents need to get into their kids business
<0> if more parents were in thier kid's business
<0> there wouldn't be shootings at schools
<1> the way you said it makes it sound like you get a little too involved in her perosnal life
<0> or drugs
<0> or teen pregnancy
<1> are you religious?
<0> she doesn't have a personal life... that's the point
<0> not the way you think..
<0> i'm a pagan
<0> children are children
<0> an you need to know their friends
<0> an the places they go
<0> an their friends parents
<0> an their teachers
<0> an their habits
<0> etc.
<0> they're kids.
<1> she doesn thave a personal life?
<0> someone needs to take an interest in their lives..
<0> i think we have different understandings of the term "personal life"
<1> she shoul dbe allowed to have a personal life and secrets
<0> no.
<0> secrets are trouble..
<1> are you going to allow her to drive @ 16?
<1> wow.
<1> you sound paranoid as ****
<0> yep.. she can drive.. she's responsible
<1> secrets are part of growing up and being a teenager
<0> i'm not the mom that you have to keep secrets from
<0> i sound like a hard ***..
<1> regardless, she will have them
<0> but that exact understanding of our positions in this relationship...
<0> allows us to have open honest discussions
<0> i'm fair.
<0> i'm up front about what my intentions are with her
<0> i explain the reason behind my decisions for her
<1> yet you dont allow her to have secrets
<1> thats insane to me
<0> you don't keep secrets from people you love and trust
<0> *shrugs*
<1> if someone you loved and trust asks you to keep a secret
<1> wouldnt you?
<0> but she's told me.. that makes it not a secret
<1> if her best friend told her a secret, why should sh etell you?
<0> we don't keep secrets between each other..
<0> well..
<2> stevev, some parents wouldnt even give 2 ****s what there child does
<0> depends on the secret i suppose..
<1> yeah I understand
<0> if it's... i have a crush on a boy
<0> that to me is a big "duuuuuuuuuuuuuuh"
<0> teenage girls have that
<0> but when her little friend confided in her that she was cutting on herself
<0> she called me at work.. during her lunch in tears to talk about it
<1> its great that she takes interest in her kid, i just think she should allow her a bit more freedom or privacy.. but I have no room to speak, im just 20 yrs old and from what I understand she has reaised her kid very well
<0> an find out what she should do
<1> well thats very responsible of her
<0> that's not a secret you keep
<2> i agree, but i think its great that her daughter trusts her enough to confide in her
<0> for any reason.
<1> I just think when some children are smothered like that or have a lack of privacy then may grow up to resent it
<2> thats how my relationship is with my dad
<1> yeah thats a beautiful thing
<0> the thing is stevev .. i'm not sneaky
<2> it depends
<0> if i'm looking in her room
<0> it's with her sitting right there watching me
<0> *shrugs*
<1> thats good
<1> I guess I was wrong suger
<2> so what happen with her friend who was cutting herself
<0> she's real clear about what i expect of her.. and her "privacy" is something she'll get when she's all grown up
<1> when you made that one statemenet it sounded kidna of devious
<1> when do you plan on giving her her privacy
<0> i don't play... i don't believe children have rights.. to privacy... to freedom... to act out... etc
<1> I mean have you gone as far as listening to phone conversations or anything?
<0> when she moves out on her own.. and she's all grown up
<2> why do people cut themselves do they get a rush out of the pain or something
<1> to feel something ap0f3r
<1> pretty stupid
<0> ap0f3r ... it's a relief
<0> something they can control
<1> some say its something they can control
<1> yeah
<2> damn
<0> it's pretty popular among teenage girls right now
<0> two of her little friends have come out as cutters
<0> she convinced both to go to the school counselor (cause that's what i told her to do)
<1> i wonder why its much much more popular among girls
<0> both moms called me after the fact and said thank you
<0> they didn't have any idea
<0> cause they gave their girls privacy
<1> ..
<0> an trusted them to be reasonable adults.
<0> =)
<1> thats not why they cut themselves
<0> their kids.
<0> no.. but i'd know if my daughter had cuts on her body
<0> what the hell
<1> if you give your daughter privacy its very very likely she would be thankful about it
<0> don't those people swim
<1> and be responsible with it
<0> or snuggle their kids!
<1> hahahaha.
<0> stevev .. there's nothing for her to keep private at this point
<1> what centruy are you livin in!
<1> what about when she is 17
<0> stevev .. apparently not the current one..
<1> she will have things she will defnitly want to keep to herself
<0> i hope when she is 17.. we'll still horseplay and snuggle up to watch charlie brown flicks during the holidays
<1> are you going to allow her to have a job?
<0> that's still in discussions.
<1> jeez.
<0> she's volunteered the past two summers
<0> working in a day care for alzheimers patients..
<0> i like the idea of volunteering
<0> she doesn't need the money
<1> what about her working to make her own money to spend on things she wants?
<1> why would you deny her that?
<0> an there will be plenty of time in her life to work...
<0> she gets a generous allowance that is hers to spend..
<1> what if she wants a nice shirt or some pants and she wants to be self-suffiencet
<0> okay i ***ure you
<1> how do you expect her to be prepared to live on her own if you shelter her so much?
<0> as long as my mom and i will take her shopping
<0> she'll spend our money
<0> shelter?
<0> hahahaha
<0> how is giving a child a budget
<0> an saying.. live within it sheltering?
<1> if you wont allow her to have a job because you buy everything for her
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