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Comments:
<0> i just buy enough booze ahead of time to drink till i p*** out at home :)
<1> i've driven borderline but never obviously drunk
<1> i drove fine, cops will pull behind and tail for a bit and then leave
<0> i got arrested for drunk walking
<1> haha
<1> say whut
<2> you don't have to be anywhere near drunk to get a DUI
<1> right i know
<1> i'm talking borderline legally drunk
<1> :p
<0> i was 20, left my car at the bar, because well i dont drive drunk, so i am walking home and i am obviously really drunk, i stumble and fall down this little hill and roll into the strett .. *screeech* goes the breaks, look up .. goddamned cop car
<1> but i alwasy have people around me when i go out drinking and theyd say something if they thought i couldnt drive
<0> <-- 24 hours in jail
<1> hahaha
<1> ****ty
<1> i've walked home drunk before, and fell into a ditch in the rain
<1> all my clothes were muddy
<1> i was laying i nthe ditch for like 5 minutes before i picked myself up to
<1> this was when i was like 19-20 tho
<1> in my defense
<3> my dad just got me drunk before he taught me how to drive
<3> so I know what I'm doing
<1> your dad is a ghetto negro
<1> ;)
<3> oh
<3> that reminds me
<3> I was going to ban *jd*
<1> haha
<1> :0
<3> to stop the trolls
<1> i'm messing wicha
<1> which trolls?
<3> and *urex*
<4> http://tinyurl.com/mnem8
<1> oh prex
<3> the cock aids troll
<1> yah he joins and says i have AIDS
<0> he wouldnt have taken me to jail, if i could have spoken without slurring every letter in the alphabet .. and didnt have an open bottle of liquor i wasnt old enought to buy
<1> haha
<1> what a psycho
<3> and didn't have such a sweet sweet 20 yr old ***
<0> jd: do you have AIDS?
<3> that was about to be unconscious and handcuffed in his back seat
<3> OMFG
<0> JPres: after they did the breathalizer on my his windows 95 computer bluescreened and i fixed it, then he had me working on th rest of the machines in the station
<3> STRING THEORY!
<3> haha
<0> then i smoked a few cigs with them went to sleep and they got me breakfast in the mornig then let me go
<3> the Sheriff's office my mom worked at, had some guy in jail for some kind of internet related wire fraud and hacking
<1> i /lastlog jpres
<3> so they had him redesign the SO's website
<1> hrm
<1> !
<0> JPres: haha
<1> what about 20 yr old ***es
<3> and the DA got pissed off when he found out the guy was working on the SO's computers
<3> jd
<0> so they bought him a laptop?
<3> let me make this simple
<3> [20:04] Murexhe wouldnt have taken me to jail, if i could have spoken without slurring every letter in the alphabet .. and didnt have an open bottle of liquor i wasnt old enought to buy
<3> [20:04] JPresand didn't have such a swee..........
<4> jpres- do a search for vx nerve gas on ebay and see if you find anything.
<1> ahhh
<3> that was the first night Murex was ever raped
<3> by an Officer of the Law anyway
<3> sporq, no
<0> i didnt get raped but some dude pased me anote telling me to ask the bailbondsmen for a $20
<1> i'd imagine to stop someone from raping you , you'd just have to yell that you have AIDS
<1> no?
<0> i was like "uh dude i wont be needing a bail bondsman"
<4> jpres- chicken
<1> prex gave me this idea
<1> women should use it too
<0> jd: incorrect
<0> jd: at least in jail thats incorrect
<3> 0 items found
<1> i know if i was raping somebody, i'd think twice
<0> that will get you killed or raped by people who really do have AIDS
<1> well i dont go to jail
<1> but if i'm there i wont use it
<0> right then you have a snowballschance in hell of being raped
<1> i'lll use my shiv that i made
<0> i wouldn't rape you with JPres's ****
<3> I had to stab Murex once, with my meatshiv
<1> i'll cut off a testacle and wear it around my neck to warn others
<0> i would shiv someone in the neck and **** the bloody hole
<1> well thats you
<0> i mean srsly who wiuld **** with the neck ****er?
<1> nobody
<0> "dude watch out that dude is the neck ****er"
<1> actually, being labeled baddest in prison would make you a target no?
<0> negative
<1> i'd imagine you should remain scary bad*** yet lowkey
<0> its arepect system
<0> if you are bad*** they leave you alone
<0> if you are weak you get it bad
<1> yes but then someone will step up to show he is badder
<3> if I ever have to go to prison for a long time
<0> and then you **** him in the neck
<3> I will try the old kick the biggest baddest mother****ers *** on the first day theory
<0> JPres: same here
<3> and if I'm there for life anyway
<3> I'll kill him
<1> seee
<0> except before i go to jail i will have steel pellets ingraied into my knuckles
<1> my point exactly
<3> jd, most people are not as smart as Murex and I
<0> i wil break peoples faces with a single punch
<1> i think third or fourth baddest in prison is where it would be at
<1> with front runners to take the falll
<0> i would just be silent while being processed, when they put me into the cell i would be quiet
<0> when i have my first interaction with other prisoners
<0> i would kil lthe first mother****er i see
<0> no words
<0> nop chit chat
<0> i would just snap his neck like a twig
<1> but thats if you've got life
<1> what if you've only got 3 years
<0> right if i get life
<0> they first ****er i see dies
<0> otherwise i would jsut break their leg at the knee
<0> by kicking it backwards
<0> so the bone pops out of the skin
<1> i'd put a knife to someones neck and say "i'd slash your throat, but i've only got 3 years to serve"
<1> then kick him in the back
<3> If I only have 3 years, hmmm, I would probably do them as quietly as I could
<1> thats risky
<3> because 3 years = like 4 months
<1> you get busted you now have a bunch of years
<0> i'd break a leg
<0> might add lie 6 more months
<0> big deal
<1> yeah
<3> true
<1> knife to throat and break a arm/leg
<1> makes sense
<0> i show i am not scared to break the first ****ers leg i see
<1> i'm glad we've got this all figured out
<0> i get left alone, i behave the 6montyhs goes away
<1> of course, if i go away, it will be to federal white collar resort prison
<0> same ehre
<1> so
<1> whole different ballgame in resort prison
<0> i dotn see any of us going away for anything other then say computer crimes of some kind
<1> i will need to bend someone 9 iron
<1> or something
<1> "YEAH WHATs UP!"
<0> jd: hahahahahah
<0> i am serious on the arm/leg thing
<0> if i went to a "real prison"i woudl hospitalize the first ****er i got my hands on (non-guard)
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