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Comments:
<0> and started callin all the ladies 'baby' they would fire my ***
<0> and probably take my house
<1> JPres: what if you called the homeless guy baby
<0> I would kill myself
<0> dude
<2> hook up with a hot blaq chiq
<0> it's kind of funny
<3> could Murex be fired for ***ually har***ing me?
<1> blakc chicks have ugly vaginas
<3> I mean, he is my employee
<2> haha
<0> because me and this other guy at work that i used to get high with
<2> why are their vaginas ugly?
<2> becasue their skin is black around it?
<1> because they are dark on the outside and ungodly neon pink on the inside
<1> its like clashing colors
<2> not any pinker
<2> its an illusion
<2> :P
<0> would sit around at my old apt, getting high, and drawing up contingency plans for how we would handle different medical emergencies that would require us to touch the homeless guy
<2> haha
<0> and most of them ended in one of us having to die
<1> hahaha
<0> unless it looked like he might die
<0> then we would just watch
<0> like
<1> felix: yeah thats a-ok
<0> if he needed CPR
<1> felix: but the other is ugly
<0> and one of us had to give him mouth to mouth
<3> get a dental dam
<1> arubin: eye bleach is more what i would need
<0> the other one would 'accidentally' spill a bottle of mr clean on his face first
<4> halle berry and tyra banks come to mind.
<0> arubin, dental dams aren't all that common of a thing to be able to find in an emergency
<3> but you have a bunch of them for tossing salads
<1> felix: i'd hit that, but say if we are talking shaniqua, no ****in way
<4> hah
<4> SHANTAY FROM THE GHETTO
<0> and our 'first aid kit' consists of 4 already opened generic band aides and a tube of antibiotic cream with blood on the cap
<3> anal blood?
<0> I'm not sure how I know this
<4> menstrual blood!
<0> but I do
<0> it's oral blood from when the homeless guy took a ****ing dremel to the $2500 set of false teeth we bought him
<0> and was bleeding out of the mouth for a week after because they had rough edges
<3> why don't you just use this guy for fuel?
<3> is he your father or something?
<0> my company doesn't fire anyone
<0> well
<0> I mean
<3> your company employs the homeless?
<0> the last guy that got fired
<0> was only fired because the superintendent caught him singing blame canada loudly during school hours, and smelled the booze on his breath
<0> and this was AFTER we hadn't heard from him for like 10 days
<0> and the boss called him, to ask where he was
<0> and the guy was like, 'oh, I'm in bldg 9 at the high school'
<0> and my boss was all like 'oh really, that's odd, I've been here for 2 days now because nobody has seen you in 2 weeks
<0> and he was like, 'oh, well, I guess you busted me'
<0> and he came back to work like nothing happened
<0> arubin, no
<0> hold
<5> wow
<5> i want a job where ic an just not show up and stuff
<5> and get drunk and look at the 15yr olds
<1> yeah dude me too
<3> know what is even better?
<0> you want to see the 'homeless guy'?
<3> getting to work at a nursing home with all those hot ladies
<3> JPres: sure
<0> hold
<0> this is our 'bench tech'
<1> yeah dude he is totally homeless, they let him use the company pamphlets to line his create with
<1> crate
<0> I don't think murex has even seen this pic
<0> http://fairings.org/~jason/7.gif
<0> I have to go smoke
<1> bahahahahahah dude its so funny when they dress up the homless in a tie
<1> i bet he just spends all day clicking hte mouse randomly and talking to the screen
<1> anytime they need a laugh they tell him to do something
<1> "hey homeless dude, setup a seconday MX record and configure the backup MTA" ... "darrr errr uhhh click click click there is pickles in my pants .. arrrrr click click i like cake"
<3> he looks hardcore
<6> Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
<6> 'Let the Bodies Hit the Floor' was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.
<1> i think its wonderful they hire homeless people
<1> it's too bad they **** themselves in the office
<3> some crazy guy **** and pissed in Number-6's office
<3> in the breakroom I believe
<1> hahahaha awful
<6> arubin- URL?
<3> I think he was saying that there is a nuthouse nearby
<3> and someone let him in
<1> oh wow
<6> nice
<1> nice security they have there
<6> There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
<1> eveyday i come to work iam greated by 5-6 guys with h&k 45's and 12guage shotguns
<1> they examine my badge and my car
<3> the woman that plays Candy in Strangers with Candy is on The Colbert Report
<3> she looks much different without makeup
<3> does the government make you take piss tests?
<1> and then say "mr.pullins you are cleaered to entire the base"
<3> they speak incoherently?
<1> arubin: when they hired me yes
<1> arubin: yes they usually mumble and it sounds like that
<0> dude
<0> you must know gaspare
<0> or wait
<0> I told you about him ****ting himself at work
<0> nevermind
<1> they dont make you take any other piss tests unless say you drive a forklift into a building or drop a handgrenade and kill a bunch ofpeople
<7> www.projectmimesis.com/ #mimesis join
<1> in my job i have little no chance of being tested again
<1> arubin: jsut so you know, the test i did take was the absolute cheapest one you can get
<0> they basically just wanted to make sure you didn't do more than 3 lines on the drive to the piss test place
<1> correct
<3> Murex: you had to pay for it?
<1> uh no?
<0> they usually show you the results
<3> oh, you are just saying it wasn't a great test
<0> and you can then see what tests were done
<1> correct
<1> i looked up what test was done
<1> it was a lithmus test
<1> like the kind you can buy for home use
<1> $20 off the internet
<2> murex you got a DUI?
<1> jd: uh no?
<1> we are talking about the drug test i took for my current job
<2> wtf u talkin then foo
<2> oh
<1> jd: i have never and will never drive drunk
<0> have you driven 'tipsy'?
<1> nope
<2> good, more road for me!
<2> he heeee
<0> that's good
<2> hah
<5> i get drunk and blind fold myself and drive around
<1> one of my friends was killed by a ****ing DUI
<0> I've probably driven when I shouldn't have
<2> murex, i'm joking of course
<2> dont get all emo on us now :)
<1> i will never put myself into the situation to do the same to someone else
<5> i've driven stoned at 35mph
<0> and RiPer joins
<2> stoned isnt quite as bad
<1> i just buy enough booze ahead of time to drink till i p*** out at home :)
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